​New Man.  New Marriage
“That ye put off concerning the former conversation the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts;  And be renewed in the spirit of your mind.  And that ye put on the new man, which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness.”  Eph 4:22
                  Do you ever find yourself at odds with your spouse with a sizeable lack of peace between the two of you?  Maybe some of you are there right now.  Kristal and I have certainly found ourselves in that place plenty of times.  In fact, I have written about one such time in a prior blog post.  Would you believe me if I told you it’s possible to live with the complete absence of strife and discord in your marriage?  What if I told you it’s possible to love your spouse with the complete and pure agape love of God always, at all times, no matter what.  Would you believe that?  I won’t lie and tell you I’m currently living in that place.  But I do know it is possible and I want to get there, and because of that desire in my heart I know Kristal and I will come to that place, praise God.  You can as well.   Maybe you already are, and if so, thank God for it!
For those that aren’t, how do we get to that place?  The answer is a word that is consistently coming up in conversations Kristal and I have with one another, and others we talk to: transformation.  Ephesians describes the process as putting off the old man, and putting on the new man.  Through this process of transformation and having our minds renewed, we are literally transformed into this new man (gender aside), that bears the very image of Jesus Christ Himself.  (2 Cor 3:18).  You see, the Bible says that when you were born-again, your “old man” which is your old sin nature originated through the fall of Adam, and inherited by all who have ever been born since except for Jesus, died in Jesus Christ.  The old you was crucified with Jesus!  Spiritually, you were reborn with a righteous and holy nature created in the image of Jesus Christ.  This is what “after God” means in Ephesians 4:24.  God didn’t give you a somewhat lesser holiness or righteousness than who He is.  No, because of His great love for you, He restored you back to the same holy and righteous nature that He, Himself possesses!  Colossians describes the new nature within you as Christ in you, the hope of glory. (Col 1:27)
                  Now, note that Eph 4:24 says that we are to put on the new man.  It isn’t automatic, nor does God do it for us without our cooperation, as nice as we think that might be.  He does not control us like robots and cause this to happen for a select few, but not for others.  Rather, He instructs all born again believers to put the new man on.  What He is essentially telling us is to walk and live in our newfound righteousness, to yield to our new Christ-like nature.  It isn’t “works” and it isn’t about discipline or effort.  This transformation process begins with having our minds renewed to the truth of who God is, and who we are in Him.  It’s about having a right identity that is empowered by grace.  We must accept and believe the identity that we have been given in Jesus Christ and what the Word of God has declared about us.  We put off the old man because that is not who we are anymore, nor who we desire to be.  We are new creatures in Christ.  We are God’s workmanship.  We are God’s children that have been born from above.  As we spend time in prayer and fellowship with God, meditating the Word and worshipping Him privately as well as publicly, we are strengthened by His grace to walk in the spirit.  And the Word tells us that if we walk in the spirit, we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh, which is anything contrary to the nature and character of God.
                  If you want your marriage to be new, or renewed, start with yourself in putting on the new man.  Spend time with the Father and in His Word.  If you have any hidden sin, humbly confess it to Him and receive His washing , cleansing and forgiveness, and ask your spouse for forgiveness as well if you need to do that.  Thank Him for cleansing you from sin and giving you a clean and a pure heart.   Let what He has said in His Word about who you are as His child sink deep into your heart.  Pray in the spirit and meditate in His Word.  Let the Father’s love for you compel you even further into his presence.  I can tell you from my own experience, that when I walk according to the life of Christ that is within me, rather than obeying my emotions or selfish thoughts or opinions that don’t line up with the character of Christ, that there is much more peace, love and unity between Kristal and I.  I’m sure she would say the same.  Anytime I choose the flesh, the result is far different.  Again, it is about transformation.  I believe the Father’s desire for all of us is that we put the new man on, and leave him on.  He never intended for us to put him on and take him off like a set of clothes, according to the circumstances or how we feel.  I encourage you today to study your Word and ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you what it says about who you are in Christ Jesus, the new man within you.  Pursue the Father and put on the new man.  The effect will be visible not just in your marriage, but in your entire life.
 
Blessings in Jesus,
Cameron

Notes from Topical Study: Why You Should Still Date Your Spouse
​Facilitators: Cameron and Kristal Boone
Teleconference held June 28, 2016
 
Introduction:  Why we chose this topic…Something that is important but gets overlooked.  As you get busy it can easily get neglected.  We had different couples tell us the importance of maintaining our relationship.  They were sharing from the experience of not doing that and now realize they should have never stopped.  We have also personally seen the benefits of maintaining this part of our relationship.
 
Cameron and Kristal’s Top Ten Reasons:

1. Priorities:  Dating is a part of making your marriage a priority.  Making time for one another should always be a priority. 
2. Romance:  Keeps fire and interest for one another.  It’s an opportunity to woo and draw one another.  Doing those things that got your spouse’s attention in the first place and keep them interested and engaged.  It is important that we see that side of one another (to know that your spouse is still interested).
3. Friendship:  The bond of friendship is developed and maintained through spending meaningful time together.  You never want to stop being friends.  When you are friends it is easier to share and be vulnerable with one another. This is all part of developing intimacy and trust.  You should have no closer friend than your spouse.
4. Anticipation:  Gives you both something to look forward to.  A break from the busyness of life.  Keeps things interesting.  In return, creates excitement.  Sparks desirous feelings. 
5. Fun:  It’s just fun!  And you should make time for fun alone with each other.  It is part of keeping your relationship fresh and young at heart.
6. Adult time:  If you have kids, particularly little ones, you need time away to be yourselves, an adult, not just mommy and daddy.  You need to be reminded that you are husband and wife, handsome and hot.
7. Investment: You reap what you sow.  Dating is time sowing into your marriage and into one another.  You will see a good return in every part of your life.  Your marriage is good ground to sow into.  We believe that God will honor your dedication to your spouse and will multiply what is sown.  We have seen us mature, blessed financially, peace, joy, happiness, overall quality of life increase.  The same blessings extend to our children.
8. Memories:  It is important to build good memories together.  It is part of creating history and building a story together.  You’ll be able to draw from those good memories for years to come.  It is something to hold fast to when you may be having challenges in your marriage.
9. Good Example:  It is a good example for children and others.  The world needs Godly couples loving one another.
10. Love: It is an expression of love that pleases the Father.  It is another opportunity to allow God’s love to work through you for your spouse’s benefit.  It is an opportunity to nurture your spouse through time, effort, attention, loving words and meaningful demonstrations of love.

 
When you date your spouse, the results are:

• A stronger bond – oneness
• Intimacy
• Being in sync
• Growing Together
• Attraction, excitement, continued desire for one another
• Even if struggling in marriage, dating is still beneficial, still working good in the marriage

 
Scriptures:  Eph 5:31, Matthew 19:4-8
All of this is part of the fulfillment of God’s plan for husband and wife to come together as one flesh, for their lifetime.  However, it doesn’t happen on it’s own and it doesn’t happen without God.
 
Definition of “Date”: An appointment with one another.  Can be lunch or dinner after the kids are in bed.  Can be expensive or cost nothing at all.  Can be 1 hour or 3 days.  Whatever it is, make it special and intentional.  Plan ahead of time.  Schedule it weekly or bi weekly.  Once a month is not enough.  Too much can happen in a month.
 
AND PLEASE DRESS TO IMPRESS!  Dress for the occasion but try and look good for your spouse.  You didn’t look raggedy when you were dating so don’t do it now.

​Summary of notes from April, 2016 teleconferenced topical study facilitated by LaJuan Diggs and Erica Stoxstill-Diggs.

Raising children is no easy task.  To paraphrase something our pastor once told us, our children don’t arrive here with instruction manuals tied around their ankles.  We are entrusted with these little people whose lives are filled with purpose and destiny in Christ, and have the great privilege to lead them into relationship with the Father through Christ.  We also have the responsibility to teach them His ways and His truth so that they can navigate around the many lies and pitfalls in this world and stay on track with God’s calling for their lives.  Raising Godly children takes great intentionality, consistency and the wisdom of the Holy Spirit.  It also takes a community of believers helping one another. 
Last month, Lajuan and Erica Stoxstill Diggs led a powerful and informative Topical Study on Tips for Raising Godly Children.  In that session, LaJuan and Erica shared some of their personal testimony of how the Lord, through prayer and the help of their pastor and other individuals, taught them principles for raising their 3 sons.  Kristal and I were both convicted and encouraged by the teaching and recognized some areas where we need to grow and adjust as parents to three young children ourselves.  In this blog, we will share some of the main takeaways that we got from the Study in the hope that it may help some of you all as well that have children, or may be planning to have children.
    
Grounding them in the Word
Throughout the teaching, Lajuan and Erica continually emphasized grounding our children in the Word of God and the Gospel.  They shared that they began to sit their children down from a young age and read the Word to them.  They did this on a regular basis.  The Gospel is the power of God unto salvation and through the finished work of Christ we can have victory in every area of life.  This is true for our children.  Our children are winners and overcomers in Jesus Christ.  We ground our children in the Word by reading the Word to them and speaking the Word over them and around them daily and having them repeat and speak the Word themselves.  Lajuan and Erica taught that it is important for children to speak and hear the Word out of their own mouths so that they become established in it.  This is part of meditating on the Word and roots and establishes the Word deep in their heart.  (See Psalms 1 and Joshua 1:8)   They will be able to draw upon it as they grow and mature and encounter life.  Through developing their own relationship with the Word they are led into fellowship with God.

Modeling Christ before Them
Lajuan and Erica taught that our children are reflections of us and what we live.  They observe everything we do and say.  We teach our children to believe who the Lord says they are in Him and to believe and trust God when facing the circumstances in their own lives by living that example before them ourselves.  When we face adversity with prayer, faith and the Word as children of God instead of grumbling and complaining, our children will see that.  (See Phil 2:14)  We also need to teach our children to stand in who they are in Christ.  Lajuan and Erica shared a recent testimony where their oldest son Eric suffered a severe knee injury while playing football, tearing multiple ligaments in his knee.  The doctors’ prognosis involved many months of extensive rehab and recovery, but Eric, because of the training and teaching he had received from his parents and his personal relationship with Christ, believed for healing in his knee and was back running in less than 2 months.  His testimony has served as an encouragement to others, children and adults alike and is an example of believing God’s Word over our natural circumstances.

Discipline and Obedience
Lajuan and Erica also taught on the importance of discipline and obedience.  They shared that they taught their children early on the blessings that come with following the Lord and the consequences that arise from not obeying Him.  God’s Word has promises of life and protection for children who obey their parents (See Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16, Colossians 3:20).  Part of training our children is disciplining and correcting them when they are disobedient or doing things they should not.  This should always be done without harshness and in love, for their good, so as to not break their spirit.  This means that we do not emotionally (or physically!) beat them down and oppress them which results in them losing their joy, motivation and sense of purpose and self-esteem.  We also need to be flexible, as children have varying personalities and one form of discipline may work for one child but not another.   This is something I have had to learn personally with our oldest child, Elliott.  Elliott is high energy and very outgoing, yet also very sensitive. He likes to push and test the limits at times to try and see what he can get away with.  I’ve learned that Elliott needs consistent and firm discipline to learn what he can and cannot do, but that it has to always be in love and I cannot allow myself to get frustrated with him, because then I do not discipline him in the right spirit.  If I find myself getting frustrated, I need to make my own self-correction so that I can then correct him in the proper way.
Something Lajuan and Erica taught their children that really resonated with Kristal and I is that they taught them that their ‘No’ is just as good as their ‘Yes’.  Meaning, when one of their children asked for something and the answer was ‘No’, they helped their children to understand that the answer of ‘No’ was out of love for them and having their best interests at heart.  When children understand this, they can have confidence that their parents are acting in their best interests and not merely trying to spoil their fun.  They may not understand all of our reasons for saying no, but we should make every effort to give them understanding.  This will develop trust and security.

Seeking the Holy Spirit in Prayer
The cornerstone to all of the above principles is prayer.  In Proverbs 8:12-14, the Holy Spirit tells us that He is wisdom and understanding, and that with His wisdom comes strength.  Out of His wisdom, the Holy Spirit will give us the knowledge we need to raise our children and with that knowledge, understanding.  Then because we have understanding, His wisdom becomes our wisdom and we have the strength or the ability to make the right decisions as it comes to raising our children.  Each child has a specific set of personality traits, attributes, giftings, talents etc. and the Holy Spirit knows all of these things intimately.  He will help us teach and train each of our children in the way that they should go, and has promised that when they are old they will not depart from it. (See Prov 22:6)
The Holy Spirit will also lead us in how to pray for our children as they are progressing through different stages of childhood.  The Bible tells us in Romans 8:26 that He will help us pray when we don’t know what or how to pray as we should.  A large part of this is praying in the spirit, or in other tongues. (1 Cor 14: 2, 14)  Praying in the Spirit is not the subject of this post, and is something that Kristal and I can provide more resources on in the future for anyone that may have questions or desire understanding.  I will just say in short that when we pray in the spirit, the Holy Spirit who has taken up residence on the inside of our reborn human spirit, prays the perfect will of God back to God the Father through us, bypassing our thoughts and intellect.  How awesome is that?!  One of the best things we can do for our children is pray in the spirit concerning them as we will be praying God’s perfect will for them.
There is more that can be shared from the teaching, but I feel like I’ve already hit you with a lot J  I want to say thank you again to LaJuan and Erica for leading the study and sharing all of the insights that they did.  God has promises of a hope and a future for each of our children and as we seek Him concerning them, He will help us teach, train and guide them into fellowship with Him, which is for their good and for His Glory. 
Blessings,
Cameron
Look out for posting of confession scriptures provided by the facilitators.

Hi Couples!  Today I want to share a recent story from me and Kristal's experience that illustrates the Grace of God in action.  On a Tuesday a couple of months ago Kristal and I were scheduled to lead our first Topical Study of 2016 on the subject "The Importance and Power of Being on One Accord".  It was going to be an exciting time of sharing, learning and growing with other couples.  There was only one problem...we weren't on one accord ourselves.  Ironic, right?  Well, I had prepared for the teaching and sent Kristal some very rough notes over the weekend but in reality I really had not included her in the preparations.  And I had not shared.   As a result, the morning of the teaching we found that we were in two very different places with two differing sets of expectations regarding the content and goals for that evening.  The added stress that the teaching was only hours away compounded things and by mid-morning we were in a state of friction, confusion and disappointment.   We definitely were not on one accord, and were having trouble getting there.
            The quote used in the title of this blog comes from James 4:6.  The rest of that scripture says, "Therefore He says: 'God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.'"  Admittedly, it took some time over the course of that day, but when I confessed my fault from my heart, humbled myself before God and then before Kristal, God's grace came into the situation in multiple ways.  The first was that God helped us come to genuine agreement and understanding regarding our goals for the teaching that evening.  The second was God's work in each of our hearts throughout the day that enabled us to come together and reconcile that evening prior to the conference call.  The third way God's grace was upon the situation is that besides Kristal and I, no-one else called in for the study that evening.
            Why is that an example of God's grace you might ask?  Isn't the point of a conference call to have multiple people call in?  Well, to be quite frank, while we had reconciled beforehand and were working towards being completely back on one accord, the lack of agreement between Kristal and I throughout the greater part of the day had a direct effect on the teaching that evening.  We still lacked unity and it was evident to both of us as we made our way through the study, taking turns sharing.  While things that were shared are true, it was not in the power of the Holy Spirit.  I say the Grace of God was in action because in His mercy, that experience was only lived and witnessed by Kristal and I. 
            Some of you may have been thinking we have it all together and don't have any struggles.  Well, as you can see that isn't true.  However, we are progressing and growing and building our marriage so that whether we are sharing testimonies or areas where we face challenges, our marriage will point others to Christ and help them experience God's fullness in their marriage.  That is our goal.  As Believers, I believe as long as we remain humble and teachable before the Father, we position ourselves to receive more of His grace, His strength and His empowerment to overcome any area of weakness and be the men and women of God that He has called us to be in Christ.  Husbands, I encourage you to do a self-examination and ask the Holy Spirit how you are doing with regard to being on one accord and maintaining that with your wives.  Ask Him to help you see your “blind spots”, and then to help you overcome them and draw your wife closer to you.  If we as husbands humble ourselves in this way with sincere hearts and in faith, the Father will answer.  He will grace you to do it!  His strength is perfected in weakness, and His grace truly is sufficient. 
Blessings,
Cameron